When the temperature dips below 50 in D.C., everyone says it’s “freezing.” And when it’s “freezing,” they all want to take the bus, even if they’re only going one block. They’ll wait 40 minutes in the “freezing” 45-degree wind for a bus to come along that takes them 500 feet.
Like the rest of the citizens, Metrobus operators “don’t get it.” Including not knowing/caring when their bus is overfull with riders. People can be suffocating to death back there from the pile of bodies the driver has allowed to accumulate, and he will keep stopping at every corner and letting more passengers on, with wanton disregard for human life.
But the other day the operator of the Metrobus unveiled a new solution. When the bus got so full that people were forced to stand pretty close together in the aisle, she pulled the bus over to the curb and said, “I have an announcement.”
She explained that it is a new WMATA policy that when all the seats are filled, passengers must sit on each other’s laps.
The bus’s reaction was a mix of nervous laughter and gasps. Nobody wanted to be the first.
Realizing that there was no way out of this and we had no choice but to do what the operator said, I chose the hottest-looking person on the bus and sat right in his lap.
Amid the sounds of children crying and some brief, futile protestations to the bus driver, who brooked no disobedience, people began following the new rule.
Soon every seat on this bus was its own “double-decker.” The bus revved up and took off again.
As new passengers got on and caught a glimpse of the unfamiliar seating arrangements, the driver explained the rule to them and their shocked faces, but after pausing and thinking about it, they nodded and complied.
I guess they were just grateful to be out of the freezing cold.
