About five years ago, when Gabe was still sitting in the cubicle next to me doing Corporate Casual (one of the first blogs in the world), he posted a video he’d found on YouTube of this Deep South tween and backyard wrestler named Drex Eman.
Drex was kind of like the Angry Ginger Kid of his day. Except instead of standing with a digital videorecorder out by the garage and ranting about the mistreatment of redheads on South Park, Drex sat in a semi-darkened bedroom with a webcam on the table in front of him trained on his face, responding to what we now call “haters.”
A swarm of Web-bullies had apparently hacked into his YouTube account, which was a recepticle for his backyard rassling vids (two fat kids punching each other and falling down, mainly) as well as something called “Flexy Drexy Talk Show.” They had also posted their own video parodies of Drex, and done other mean things.
I’ve been thinking about Drex lately. I felt a kinship with him as he repeated the following mantra, in his cramazing Southern drawl, taking his sweet time and sucking the spittle from the corners of his mouth, lazy Southern eyes looking right into the lens: “If you like it” (it being this or that video of his) “thank you. If you don’t, I don’t CARE.”
He went one by one to name the videos that people had hated on, and in a voice like you use to speak to children (children speaking to children!), real slow, for at least 10 minutes, explained his vids and why he made them. Stopping often to reiterate: “If you lahk it, thaynk yooo. If you don’t, I don’t cayre.” With the last word drawn way out. Caaaahhhhaaayyyyre.
Now, in the spirit of the dear departed Flexy Drexy (the above photo is from 2006, and he has gone silent since then) I would like to say to you all in my mincy Northerner’s voice:
This post: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
YWKW: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
The Shrake-tionary: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
Scott Shrake on Huffington Post: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
UsedWigs.com: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
My Facebook profile: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
DC Outsiders: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
My onstage storytelling: If you like it, thank you. If you don’t, I DON’T CARE.
Because everyone’s a critic, everyone’s a hater, everyone’s a heckler and to hell with it. Y’all should applaud or else y’all should leave.
Tags: Angry Ginger Kid, Corporate Casual, DC Outsiders, Drex Eman, Gabriel Delahaye, Huffington Post, South Park, UsedWigs, Wrestling Championship League, YouTube
