Archive for the 'True Stories' Category
PRETTY BENEATH THE DISGUISE
PITTER-PATTER
THE MALE WITCH PROJECT
MUGGED BY LIFE
Officer Tilthead drove me to the scene of the arrest. Made me ID the perps (or not) right in the paddy wagon. No lineup at the station. Just opened the back door and pointed in there, where three faces were glowering at me out of the dark, their eyes intent and glowing like opossums’ when your headlights light them up aside a night road, but with more shame and anger at being caught. “Is that them?” asked the Fuzz…
NOT KOSHER
The final hand gesticulation I made was to pull my wallet out with a flourish to pay for my pie. That’s when she leaned toward me, winked and said with a side-to-side sweep of her hand: “All these crusts are kosher, by the way.” For once I didn’t know what to say. I just nodded. Now I knew what being profiled feels like.
HOLLYWOOD QUAKER
THE OTHER F WORD
TRIUMPHANT BUNNY LOVE
In Metro Detroit, the night before Halloween is called Devil’s Night. Bad kids go around throwing toilet paper in the trees, egging people’s houses, or, in the neighborhoods of downtown Detroit City, burning houses down. On Halloween morning you always ventured outside nervously to investigate the aftermath. If your house was vandalized, you felt the [...]
