I resolve to stop feeling proud of how mean I am. Pride is a mortal sin.

The whole problem with me is that no one ever had the courage to say to me, “You know, why don’t you shut up?” They laughed instead, relieved the harangues were directed at someone else — secretly afraid they would be next. Like the ordinary Germans who let the Holocaust happen..

Everybody has a story, but only some people should be allowed to tell theirs.

‘Tis better to friend and be defriended than never to have been friended at all.

Suffer in silence. Just be your selves. Be all of them. I am what you would call a “high-class problem.” No one has ever said, “You know what? The stalking worked. I love you.” The opposite of hurting someone’s feelings must be to help someone’s feelings. You’d be surprised how hard it is to tell [...]

You should play hard to get, not hard to get rid of.

Inevitably every place I live, every job I have, everything I “touch” seems like junk to me because I am involved with it, and I am worthless junk.

Reading is for lazy people.

You have unlimited chances to make a first impression if you know how to use disguises. It is just a coincidence that as homosexuality becomes more accepted in society, the polar ice caps are starting to melt rapidly. Only do favors for people if they sign a contract stating they will reciprocate. It’s just as [...]

Committing suicide is rude. There don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to do all the things I wish I didn’t have to do. Souls come in the wrong bodies sometimes. I want to become famous mainly in order to get revenge on people. Crazy people always sit right in the front row [...]