Kitten and I rescheduled our interview phone date. What a pair we made, I in my mincey, milquetoasted Dick Cavett-like voice and Kitten in her full-bodied 900-sexline voice…

C still hung out with D for some time after graduation, though. They both lived in New York City. Even during college D had been an actor, and now he had just wrapped on a film! One that unbeknownst to anyone would soon catapult him to cult star status, and then eventually to star star status.

Diego knows what I’m talking about. He is the “barber to the famous” here in D.C. I’ve been to his shop just off Dupont Circle a few times. The walls are covered in personalized autographs from U.S. presidents, members of Congress, Supreme Court justices, people whose headshots I don’t recognize, and all of the Popes from the last 50 years. Yeah, it’s the kind of place where the owner writes away to get Papal autographs.

I cringed along with the rest of you during the holidays when Tareq and Michaele Salahi got busted for crashing a state dinner President Obama held for the prime minister of India. But for me it was personal. As the pictures of the outlaw couple posing proudly for pictures at the White House flickered across CNN, I said to myself, “Oh, man. The jig is up.”

When I was about 7 years of age, I remember standing around in the school library with a couple of other children and Mr. Sorrentino, the librarian. She had just returned from an out-of-state librarians’ convention.

The only reason I remember the name Sorrentino is because of this anecdote. What happened next had a profound effect on me for life. I was never the same afterwards.

I understand now why so many actors and singers say they never watch their own movies or listen to their own albums. It’s not that they’re uninterested in looking at or hearing themselves. Far from it. It’s that the futile desire to do it over is unbearable.

THE SLIDESHOW I PERFORMED FOR MORTIFIED IN WASHINGTON, D.C.. Hi, I’m SM Shrake. Between the ages of 10 and 14, which was in the early ’80s, I was the world’s youngest male Barbra Streisand fan. And quite probably the only pre-teen boy in the world who collected Barbra Streisand memorabilia as his only hobby… READ [...]

1986 Up in my bedroom sitting on the floor playing an audiocassette I got for $2 called “Gospel” by Aretha Franklin. Very lo-fi recording of her when she was a teenager (like me!) singing at church, New Bethel Baptist in Detroit, and accompanying herself on piano. I am horrified by what I think I hear [...]

When I’m not busting my ass to write stories for you people, I am a copy editor. That job title means “the person who makes sure all the words are right,” and “right” means grammatically, stylistically, and factually correct. I’ve spent the last seven years correcting people in absentia, which is actually perfect for me. [...]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ins and outs of fame—I was going to say “lately,” but that isn’t true. I’ve been thinking a lot about fame ever since I was able to think.