I realized this morning that I had no cream for my coffee. Rather than walk a block down to the store, I took out a tube of white face paint from my makeup room and then painted an upside-down “milk mustache” above my upper lip. I made a sign on a piece of 8.5″ x [...]
A lady jogged past me this morning as I walked to work. She was about 60, I’d say, and over-thin. Dyed-brown, thinning hair in a tight ponytail. Close-fitting navy-blue jogging clothes: t-shirt, waterproof shell vest, Lycra stretch pants. I only saw her from behind. In her left hand she clasped a folded-up clear plastic bag. [...]
Diego knows what I’m talking about. He is the “barber to the famous” here in D.C. I’ve been to his shop just off Dupont Circle a few times. The walls are covered in personalized autographs from U.S. presidents, members of Congress, Supreme Court justices, people whose headshots I don’t recognize, and all of the Popes from the last 50 years. Yeah, it’s the kind of place where the owner writes away to get Papal autographs.
Out of the torrent of humiliation, hurt feelings, but mostly humiliation, the two rather pedestrian words “Fuck You” explode from my mouth like two different kinds of firecracker.
The usual judgmental thoughts ran through my head: Why take pictures of e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g? Why do you need to be in the picture with dumb, boring stuff? Just, simply, what is the point of this?
Traveling sans sherpa through the snow mountains of Georgetown, weary from the treacherous highs and slippery lows. Also emotionally exhausted from doing the “Secret Service side-to-side eye scan” as I walk the streets, to make sure I don’t run into a mentally unstable ex who lives over here. My destination: My psychiatrist, aka Dr. Feelgood, [...]
The dog excreted a long poop, then stood around waiting for its owner to clean it up. Not so neighborly, this dog. Very “me” oriented.
I got in a cab, as I do every morning. I told the cab driver, an elderly black man, the destination and said “Take the parkway.” “Uh, Dupont Circle?…” No, the parkway, I said with some annoyance. He missed the turn to the parkway. Then he started going down the wrong street, in the complete [...]
Until recently, when I just plum gave up caring how old I am and how I look for my age, the terror of aging ate my heart out of my chest. To soothe myself, I “gave” all that dread to strangers. Gave it away. How? Well, here’s one way: On a full Metro bus, I [...]
