You owe me a lot, World. Start with an apology.

I am a workaholic. But I am also an alcoholic and a rageaholic. I buy workahol by the six-pack, but I buy alcohol and rageahol by the case.

The whole problem with me is that no one ever had the courage to say to me, “You know, why don’t you shut up?” They laughed instead, relieved the harangues were directed at someone else — secretly afraid they would be next. Like the ordinary Germans who let the Holocaust happen.

Homosexuality presents like addiction.

I’ve done the long math, and found that romantic attachments are not worth the risk. So, that’s settled.

Performers necessarily balance their urge to share with an indifference to what people think.

I am amazed how many of my friends have told me they are waiting for their parents to die before they commit suicide.

There is a special place in Purgatory for people who can dish it out but cannot take it. Either they stop dishing or start taking, or they will stay there forever.

You can keep your personal life chaotically unstable by making sure that every day you say something you can never take back.