Hey, Hollywood. Since you love the remakes so much, and you are getting progressively more comfy with the gay stuff, I have an idea for you:

Remake all the classic (=$$$) movies as “gay.” Turn Scarlett O’Hara into Steven O’Hara, pair her with Rhett Butler, and bam: “Gay Gone with the Wind.” See, for convenience’s sake you can just slap “Gay” in front of whatever the original title was. Then people will know this is the gay version.

Instead of getting the chance to see what life would have been like if he had never been born, have George Bailey see what life would have been like if he had never been born gay (in this version he’s gay). Make Clarence the Angel into a drag queen, and you’re all set: “Gay It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Then there are the high-concept no-brainers, millions of them: “Gay Jaws,” “Gay Ghostbusters,” “Gay Titanic”… “Gay Top Gun” (with Tom Cruise reprising his starring role).

OK, you get the idea. Now get started, Hollywood. You’ve got a gay lot of work to do.

Tags: Dracula, Ghostbusters, Gone with the Wind, It's a Wonderful Life, Jaws, Titanic, Tom Cruise, Top Gun